My new world

After I went to the police station, everything was turned upside down.
All of a sudden my world revolved around words like:

Investigation
Police
Statements
Forensic Examination
DNA swabs
Crime Scene
Arrest
Penile Swab
Court
Bail
ID Parade
Counselling

I still can't believe it is all happening. It's like I've had an out of body experience for more than 2 months.
I don't know when it will all sink in properly. I will need to start dealing with it eventually instead of dissasotiating with it like I've been doing. I am hoping writing all of this will maybe help a little bit. Who knows, but now I feel a kind of hopelessness I never knew existed, and I need to try something.

Today I will have my first session with a psychologist and then I will return to work again. I've been away for almost the 2 months, except for a couple of times in the beginning when I tried to return cause I thought that was what was best (it wasn't).
I hate that he has made me into a person who has been on sick leave for 2 months. I actually love my job, but now I feel nervous about going back.
Dealing with all the people asking questions, the inevitable gossip, dealing with the actual work tasks.